Multi-generational family

How does the family look like at the beginning of XXI century?

The world has changed. According to these change appear new styles of life and new family models. Predominant pattern in nowadays world is a nuclear family consisting of only a father, mother and children. However the disadvantages of the modern nuclear family have prompted many of its critics to look for alternatives.

Extended and multi-generational families

In many cultures, such as in those of many of the Southern Europeans, Asians, Middle Easterners, Africans, Latin Americans, and Pacific Islanders, extended families are the basic family unit.

In the Polish tradition, maintaining close relationships within the family is well established.
Many families share housing with several generations because the persistent housing shortage, low incomes, and high rents leave them no choice. The transistion of Poland to democracy and capitalism improves quality of life and caused that young generation prefers living alone.

What about USA? The multi-generational American family household is staging a comeback, driven in part by the job losses and home foreclosures of recent years but more so by demographic changes that have been gathering steam for decades. Since 1990, the number of multigenerational families grew by approximately 60 percent. Today, there are almost four million American multigenerational households according to the new census data.

Advantages and disadvantages of living in multi-generational families

Experts, who provide clinical services to these families, states that advantages outweighed disadvantages, particularly for the oldest generation. Family closeness and increased tangible resources were the most frequent advantages given. Intrahousehold family relationship stress and issues of privacy were the most frequent disadvantages identified.

Multigeneral household structure allows families to come together to face the many trials of life, such as raising a child, caring for elders, single parenthood, and high cost of living and housing. Although the multigenerational family creates a safety network among its generations to face their obstacles as a whole, those obstacles still abound.

And what do you think about living in multi-generational family?


Bibliography:
http://wikipedia.org/
http://pewsocialtrends.org/
http://online.sagepub.com/

Hell during the living – depression.



Depression is a disease or weakness of man?

First, we should answer the question : what depression is.
By definition, depression is a condition characterized by mood deterioration , reduced energy, activity and interest.
But not everyone who is sad and feels pity has depression.
To diagnose depression, some symptoms must have reached the intensity of clinically relevant, because not every depression is a mental illness.

The most noticed and mentioned symptoms are:

- sadness, sorrow. Patient feels tired, lack of energy. He thinks: “I can’t complete the unfinished operations, I want to do nothing. “
- isolation from the environment, the abandonment of regular contacts
- lack of interest, and the important responsibilities
- anxiety, failing of the anger, crying, frustration
- symptoms of the body: headache, appetite disorder
- in the sphere of thought: a sense of guilt – reminding old mistakes, bad choices in life, a sense of small value, worthlessness of life, hopelessness, suicidal thoughts.
- deterioration of cognitive function – inability to focus, persevere in activities requiring men intellectual effort.

Causes of depression.

Causes of depression are not only biological for example: abnormal functioning of the CNS ( central nervous system). Psychological factors cause depression too. For instance:

- a negative way of thinking
- blaming for unfortunate situations
- remembering rather the bad than happy events
- submissive behavior pattern
- feeling of embarrassment, fear and retreat than taking the challenges
- deposition of the problems
- conflicts, quarrels at home
- open favoring siblings
- putting excessive demands
- psychological abuse, sexual harassment – called. bad touch.

To sum up, we can think that depression is a result of patient's character or way of thinking.. According to professor Antoni Kępiński depression is an illness that should be treated pharmacologically or by psychotherapy.
In interview, he said that patient suffering from depression isn’t able to help himself. Family has big influence on the patient’s mood too. By professor A. Kępiński , when the wife says to her husband, who is depressed: “Do not despair and go to work” it will not help him. Quite on the contrary, it will deepen the depression.

SOME STATISTIC ON DEPRESSION:

1. According to WHO ( World Health Organization ) 120 million people in the world are suffering from depression.
2. By the European Commission 4, 5 % of European population is affected by depression
3. Every year 58000 Europeans dies as a result of suicide.
4. 12 % population of France has a depression. Every year 65 000 000 antidepressant pills is sold in France.
5. Women experience depression about twice as often as men.
6. Over half of patients do not benefit from medical help
7. 40 % of the population of hospital patients and residents of nursing homes after 65 years of age suffer from depression.
8.More than 90% of people who died by suicide had been diagnosed with mental illness, commonly
a depressive disorder.
9.Depression is also known to weaken the immune system, making the body more susceptible to other medical illnesses.
10. By the year 2020, depression will be the 2nd most common health problem in the world.



More statistics:

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_statistics_depression


Do you think that depression is an illness or weakness of man?
Do you know someone who was/ is depressed?

1. Film about Post-Partum Depression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qz-gdWtKaM&feature=player_embedded#at=75

2. Test: Hamilton Depression Rating Scale:

http://www.medafile.com/cln/HDRS.html

Untypical addictions

You don't smoke, don't drink too much alcohol, don't get drugs. You think "I'm free of any addiction". But are you sure? Maybe you're not? Let's see on some

UNTYPICAL ADDICTIONS

by Michał Bil

Workaholism

Workaholism is addiction to work.The phrase workaholic does not always imply that the person actually enjoys their work, but rather simply feels compelled to do it. There is no generally accepted medical definition of such a condition, although some forms of stress, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder can be work-related.
Workaholism is not the same as working hard. Despite logging
in an extraordinary amount of hours and sacrificing their health and loved ones for their jobs, workaholics
are frequently ineffective employees.
Although the term workaholic usually
has a negative connotation, it is sometimes used by people wishing to express their devotion to one's career
in positive terms. The "work" in question is usually associated with a paying job, but it may also refer
to independent pursuits such as sports, music and art.
A workaholic in the negative sense is popularly characterized by a neglect of family and other social relations.
Experts say the incessant work-related activity masks anxiety, low self-esteem, and intimacy problems. And as with addictions to alcohol, drugs or gambling, workaholics' denial
and destructive behavior will persist despite feedback from loved ones or danger signs such
as deteriorating relationships. Poor health is another warning sign. Because there's less of a social stigma attached to workaholism than to other addictions, health symptoms can easily go undiagnosed or unrecognized, say researchers. Workaholics feel the urge of being busy all
the time, to the point that they often perform tasks that aren't required or necessary for project completion. As a result, they tend to be inefficient workers, since they focus on being busy, instead of focusing on being productive. In addition, workaholics tend to be less effective than other workers because it's difficult for them to be team players, they have trouble delegating
or entrusting co-workers, or they take on so much that they aren't as organized as others. Furthermore, workaholics often suffer sleep deprivation which results in impaired brain
and cognitive function.
Like with other psychological addictions, workaholics are unable to see
that they have a problem. Confronting the workaholic will generally meet with denial.
Co-workers, family members and friends may need to engage in some type of an intervention
to communicate the effects of the workaholic’s behavior on them. Indeed, mental treatment
to cure a workaholic can successfully reduce the hours spent on the job, while increasing
the person's productivity. Studies show that fully recovered former workaholics are able
to accomplish in 50 hours what they previously couldn't do in 80.
Workaholism in Japan is considered a serious social problem leading to early death, often on the job, a phenomenon dubbed karōshi. If you want to know more, just watch the film at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_C_roXUPYbs

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workaholic

Internet addiction

Internet addiction disorder (IAD), or, more broadly, Internet overuse, problematic computer use or pathological computer use, is excessive computer use that interferes with daily life. These terms avoid the distracting and divisive term addiction and are not limited to any single cause.
Online activities which, if done in person, would normally be considered troublesome, such as compulsive gambling
or shopping, are sometimes called net compulsions. Others, such as reading or playing computer games, are troubling only to the extent that these activities interfere
with normal life. Supporters of disorder classification often divide IAD into subtypes by activity, such as excessive, overwhelming, or inappropriate pornography use, gaming, online social networking, bloggingJ, email, or Internet shopping. Opponents note that compulsive behaviors may not themselves be addictive.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_addiction_disorder

Tanorexia

Tanning addiction is a rare syndrome where an individual appears to have
a physical and/or psychological addiction to sunbathing or the use
of tanning beds. The mechanism
of the addiction is unknown at this time.
Although the syndrome has not been officially described by the medical community, it may include the following reported symptoms:
· intense anxiety if a session
of tanning is missed
· competition among peers to see which can get the darkest tan
· chronic frustration about the color of one's skin, with the affected person being convinced his
or her complexion is constantly lighter
than it actually is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanning_addiction

Bigorexia

Muscle dysmorphia (bigorexia) is a disorder in which a person becomes obsessed with the idea that he or she is not muscular enough. Those who suffer from muscle dysmorphia tend to hold delusions that they are "skinny" or "too small" but are often above average in musculature. Sometimes referred to as bigorexia, reverse anorexia nervosa, or the Adonis Complex, muscle dysmorphia is a very specific type of body dysmorphic disorder.

In this disorder a person is preoccupied
with thoughts concerning appearance, especially musculature. Improving becomes addiction to them. Muscle dysmorphia
is strictly connected with selective attention: individuals selectively focus their attention on perceived defect
(too skinny body, underweight etc.).
They are hypervigilant to even small deviations from perceived ideal and they ignore information that their body image is not consistent with reality.
Muscle dysmorphia can cause people to:
· Constantly examine themselves in a mirror
· Frequently compare themselves with others
· Hate their reflections
· Become distressed if they miss a workout session or one
of their many meals a day
· Become distressed if they do not receive enough protein
per day in their diet
· Take potentially dangerous anabolic steroids
· Neglect jobs, relationships, or family because of excessive exercising
· Have delusions of being underweight or below average in musculature.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigorexia

Funeral addiction

Do you think it is possible to be addicted to going on funerals? If not, read that: Luis Squarisi, 42, from Batatais Brazil has attended every funeral in his home town for the past twenty years citing the death of his father in 1983 as the beginning of his morbid addiction. He later quit his job to continue his addiction.
"The first thing I do every morning
is turn on the radio to find out if anyone has died," said Luis. "If I don't hear it on the radio
I call the hospitals and local funeral home."
Funeral home spokesperson,
SO Vicente said, "We don't want him to go
to therapy, everyone expects to see him at
the funerals. He is famous already."

http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=59200

Photos from:

www.image.cbsnews.com/.../06/15/image1716891g.jpg

http://spyhunter007.com/Images/internet_addiction.jpg

www.maildigi.com/worlds-wackiest-addictions/

www.doctorsaloud.com/vb/t3072.html

What do you think about this addictions? Are they really dangerous? Have you heared
about some other "interesting" addictions?

How to find love in modern Word?

The world that we are living in gives us many ways of finding second half. There are so many places where you can fall in love. Some of them are traditional but last 5 years gives us totally new methods.

Traditional one

Clubbing. Trying to find a girl on party or in the club.

In my opinion it’s one of the hardest way of finding girl or boy – friend. Of course it’s not hard to find one night occasion but what we are really searching for is pure love!
- So first wall to beat is that 80% people on the party are drunk.
- Second hardship is that certainly you are drunk. Even if not drank, surly not sober
- Third problem is noise. Music is so loud that it is almost impossible to have normal conversation. You can’t fall in love without talking to another person, right?
- Forth issue is quite funny… It’s dark in the club! Maybe some of people would say that appearance isn’t imperative but let’s be honest presentation is very important think, especially the next day in shining sun:P

Dating with person that was recommended by your friend, sister, brother or mother

I shouldn’t comment this way of finding love it’s obvious that it won’t work.
- First and only think in this paragraph is that you can’t rely on your family and friends in love issues. They never guess what are your needs and always bring on you the worst.










Modern ways to fall in love


Speed dating.

Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new pe ople. By 2000, speed dating had really taken off, perhaps boosted by its portrayal in shows such as Sex and The City as something that glamorous people did. Supporters argue that speed dating saves time, as most people quickly decide if they are romantically compatible. and first impressions are often permanent.

So, How speed dating looks like? One room, caffe or club, few peopleMen and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short "dates", usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a bell or clinks a glass to signal the participants to move on to the next date.

Does it work? I don’t know – some people says that they found love in that way, others says that there is no way to find someone interesting in that way. What everybody confirm is that this is great fun




Internet chatting/Web dating.

According to the scientist Web dating is the most popular method of interpersonal contacts in the WORLD(sic!)! It’s hard to belief but it seems to be true.

Maybe it is because that it is the easiest mode. Some of internet users says that the best thing in Web chatting is anonymity. But tell me, is it possible to fall in love keeping your personality in secret?












Neither of this method is perfect. I think that it isn’t even close to perfectness. In my opinion the best way to fall in love is leave this thing to your destination. You will surly find the right person on the path of your life.

Body language

Body language is a form of non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals subconsciously.

It is often said[weasel words] that human communication consists of 93 percent body language and paralinguistic cues, while only 7% of communication consists of words themselves; however, Albert Mehrabian, the researcher whose 1960s work is the source of these statistics, has stated that this is a misunderstanding of the findings (see Misinterpretation of Mehrabian's rule). Others assert that "Research has suggested that between 60 and 70 percent of all meaning is derived from nonverbal behavior."

Body language may provide clues as to the attitude or state of mind of a person. For example, it may indicate aggression, attentiveness, boredom, relaxed state, pleasure, amusement, and intoxication, among many other cues.


Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. The study of body movement and expression is known as kinesics. Humans move their bodies when communicating because, as research has shown[citation needed], it helps "ease the mental effort when communication is difficult." Physical expressions reveal many things about the person using them. For example, gestures can emphasize a point or relay a message, posture can reveal boredom or great interest, and touch can convey encouragement or caution.

* One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[citation needed] This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. It can also indicate that the person's arms are cold which would be clarified by rubbing the arms or huddling. When the overall situation is amicable, it can mean that a person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed. But in a serious or confrontational situation, it can mean that a person is expressing opposition. This is especially so if the person is leaning away from the speaker. A harsh or blank facial expression often indicates outright hostility.
* Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn't trust the speaker enough to "take his eyes off" the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity. On the other hand, individuals with anxiety disorders are often unable to make eye contact without discomfort. Eye contact can also be a secondary and misleading gesture because cultural norms about it vary widely. If a person is looking at you but is making the arms-across-chest signal, the eye contact could be indicative that something is bothering the person, and that he wants to talk about it. Or if while making direct eye contact a person is fiddling with something, even while directly looking at you, it could indicate the attention is elsewhere. Also there are three standard areas that a person will look which represent different states of being. If the person looks from one eye to the other then to the forehead it is a sign that they are taking an authoritative position. If they move from one eye to the other then to the nose, that signals that they are engaging in what they consider to be a "level conversation" with neither party holding superiority. The last case is from one eye to the other and then down to the lips. This is a strong indication of romantic feelings.[citation needed]
* Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin. When a person is not being convinced by what someone is saying, the attention invariably wanders, and the eyes will stare away for an extended period.[citation needed]
* Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused. A head tilt may also indicate a sore neck or Amblyopia, and unfocused eyes may indicate ocular problems in the listener.[citation needed]
* Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly.[citation needed]
* Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. Recently, evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than excessive blinking.

It should be noted that some people use and understand body language differently, or not at all.[citation needed] Interpreting their gestures and facial expressions (or lack thereof) in the context of normal body language usually leads to misunderstandings and misinterpretations (especially if body language is given priority over spoken language). It should also be stated that people from different cultures can interpret body language in different ways.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)


http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/lens2369468_1231468791body-language.jpg


Body Language Meanings

Erect Body
When you display an erect body or walk briskly with the body erect then it is the sign of confidence. Standing or walking erect conveys that you are ready and able to face anyone or anything.

Hands On Hips
Keeping the hands on the hip displays aggression. It also sends across the message that you are in a state of readiness.

Legs Crossed
When you sit with your legs crossed with the foot tapping lightly then it is the sign of boredom. Boredom can also be signified if you rest your head on your hand and with down cast eyes.

Legs Apart
Sitting with the legs spread apart is the sign that you are relaxed. This posture also signifies that you are open for any communication.

Arms Crossed
If you keep your arms crossed then you spread across the message that you are in a defensive state.

Shoulders Hunched
When you are in a dejected mood then you will be in a posture where your shoulders will be hunched and your fists in your pocket.

Hand On Cheek
This body gesture portrays that you are in a brooding state of mind. In this position others will think that you are in deep thinking.

Rubbing The Nose
If you are talking to somebody and you unconsciously rub your nose lightly then the other person will get the impression that you do not believe what you are saying. That is either you are lying or doubting.

Clasping The Hands Behind The Back
This is the sign of an angry and frustrated person. He or she is full of apprehension.

Rubbing The Hands
This body language signifies that you are anticipating something.

Legs Crossed With The Palms Clasped Behind The Back
In this posture you show your confidence and superiority. Observe that when you achieve something how you subconsciously adopt this posture.

Tapping The Fingers
When you are impatient you tap or drum your fingers.

Patting Hair
Lack of self confidence or a sense of insecurity gives rise to this body gesture. You tend to keep your hand on your head fondling the hair.

Tilting The Head
Tilting the head shows the sign of interest. When you are absorbed in something interesting the head tilts slightly to the side.

Stroking The Chin
Stroking the chin signifies that you are either indecisive or trying hard to come to a decision.

(http://lifestyle.iloveindia.com/lounge/body-language-gestures-7761.html)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi6h8zktO1s&feature=related

MONEY-HAPPYNESS OR CURSE

"Money is anything that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts. The main functions of money are distinguished as: a medium of exchange, a unit of account, a store of value, and occasionally, a standard of deferred payment." this explanation we can see in wikipedia. But what exactly do we think about money? I am sure, that you have been asked if money makes you happy. Most of us would say; "of course not", some would say "YES"! and some would say :"a little bit". But all of us would like to have money because we need them. But there are some people for whom money was a curse.

Let's go through the statement, that money make us happy:
Scientis say that money makes us happy, because we can afford for lots of thing which are exciting, interesting and exclusive. They examinated 600 ambitious, young people from all world and asked how much do they have in their bank accounts and if they are happy. The examine showed that, people who earn more are more happy and satisfied. 80% of woman and 78% of men with more than 700 000 euro in bank accounts said that money made them more happy.
The truth is that if you have so much money you can buy almost everything, you can travel if you like, you can lie all day(i you are so rich that you don't have to work) or do some expensive sports. You also have a lot of friends, girlfriend or boyfriend, wife or husband. But the risk is, they get on well with you because of your money and there is a little chance to get know if they really do or not. Scientists proved also that another thing which make us happy are our relationships. But even miliarders can not buy anyones feelings.

And there is the statement of other scientis who say that it doesn't matter if you have money or not. They believe that everybody can be happy. In their opinion everything depends on your character and disposition. Optimists are more likely to be happy, because they can see a good sides almost in everything, when for pesimistics everything seems to be sad and bad. So optimistict appreciate what thay have and are happy with that, and pesimistics complain for everything no matter what it is. The second argument for them is that, what I have already written, that we can not buy feelings so if we love somebody with unreciprocated love we won't be happy no matter if we have money or not.

There is also a third group of scientist which say that money make us happy only if our friends and collegues earn less than we do. If you earn 5.000.000 euro for year you won't be happy if your friends earn 25.000.000. Those scientists claim that we are happier when we see that we can afford for more than our friends.

I'm sure that you also heard about people for whom money was a course. First of all in USA huge amount of very rich people need psychologists and a lot of them treat their depression. Because, as few examinations showed very rich people feel some kind of "emptiness" in their lifes. It may follows that nothing can be new for them. They can have almost everything but for them it's nothing special. They can not find any aim in their life because of that. They think they reach everything that they could and there is nothing to discover. Rich people have problems what to do with their money. Some of them are also uncertain if they friends really likes them or likes only their money. They are stressed because of that all the time and they can't trust anybody. Some milioners are also afraid of being stolen and biliarders are affraid of being killed by family for money. There were few people who won a fortune playing LOTTO and gave all money back because they didn't know what to do with so much money and they two of them started to be crazy about being stolen and killed.

As you can see there are many opinions. But I think we all can agree that money helps in life and sometimes make it easier.


bibliography:
http://wiadomosci.wp.pl/
http://wikipedia.pl/
http://portalwiedzy.onet.pl/

STRESS

Firstly we must know what is STRESS. Everybody say about stress, everyone can say “Oh, I am very stressed”. But what is really mean?

Stress is a term in psychology and biology, which has in more recent decades become a commonplace of popular parlance. It refers to the consequence of the failure of an organism – human or animal – to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats, whether actual or imagined. Stress symptoms commonly include a state of alarm and adrenaline production, short-term resistance as a coping mechanism, and exhaustion, as well as irritability, muscular tension, inability to concentrate and a variety of physiological reactions such as headache and elevated heart rate.

I think that stress is connected with fear. Many people are stressed, because they afraid of something – for example about work, child or money. Often when we are stressed we cry and we are angry or we react differently.

A little stress may be positive for us, because it motivates us to act. If we have too little stress, we are apathetic. But if we have too much stress, they cause a lot of disease – insomnia, headache, depression, impaired concentration, anxiety, lowered immunity, decline in physical strength.

STRESSFUL SITUATIONS

What cause stress in our organism? Of course some stressful situation, but what does it means? Everyone reacts differently for many situations. Everything depend on age, sex, our psyche and sensibility. For example for students very stressful situation is exam. Many people learn a lot and now they must write a test. For many adults job is very stressful, they have a little time for something else, some people have a stressful boss like a despot. Frequent stressful situation is lack of time. We very often are in situation when we haven’t a lot of time, sometimes even a little of time, but we must do something. It is very, very stressful situation and we pay for it a very big price. Stress is our murderer. It is very dangerous for us, for our health. But of course they are only a little kind of stress, in our word there are a lot of unpleasant situations, terrible situations which cause our panic.

Secondly about stressful situation we can say, when we do something stupid, when we are in funny situation.

What we should react to stressful situations?

It depend on person. Some people react in easy way, because they are immune. But some person are very sensitive for every kind of stress. Most people have stress responses that fall somewhere in the middle. When you feel confident, you're likely to take new stressors in stride. If you feel cornered or unprepared, your stress level may rise.

On one of the website I found a list of the most stressful life situations

SITUATION	% of stress
Death of wife/husband	100
Divorce	73
Death of a close family member	63
Illness	53
Marriage	50
Dismissal	47
Retirement	45
Pregnancy	39
Changing job	36
Quarrel		35
. . .
Chrismas		12

GUIDE How we can fight with stress?

1. We must get to know ourself, our ambitions.
2. We must find cause of stress.
3. We must relax and regenerate.
4. We must do sports.
5. We must be honest with people, who we love.
6. We must laugh and smile a lot.

How we can relax?

Everyone prefer different way to relax. Somebody want to go shopping, somebody want to watch TV. Some women want to go to SPA or to beautician. Some people go to church to relax, to calm down, maybe meet with friends, go to cinema.

And I have for you something to relax ;-) special stress joke

Here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts:

Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.
No one knows your secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called "the world".
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water...

There now .....

feeling better?

And what you think abort stress? It is only a popular word or it really exist? And what is your way to relax after very stressful day?